det finns så mycket jag vill berätta för dig. jag vill dela med mig av mina snedsteg, nya påhitt, misstag och framgångar. du är alltid stolt över mig på något sätt. jag går sönder av tanken att det inte kommer ske mer
every single time i tell myself i’m done. done embarrassing myself. being fully aware that i will make a fool of myself but it’s like i just don’t care anymore
it took me so long to realise i can’t search for what we had in other people. to build something new with someone else. it took me years to stop looking, but i learned to love again. i didn’t realise i would repeat the same pattern, just with a new person. i am forming every new encounter to be what you were to me, forgetting everything i realised and internalised. it’s so draining because i am stuck knowing i should do differently and that i know better, but i can’t seem to do better
all i want is to know why. maybe there is no why. i don’t understand why you have to hurt me to fix yourself
she did the same thing again although it was her only promise to me and my only wish. i think i knew this would happen but i suppressed it, i knew i was fooling myself but i am not strong enough to deal with this. it hurts all the time but i push it away enough for me to not fall apart. you really hurt me and i don’t understand why you can’t just end this. send me a text and tell me it’s over. you blocked me and left me hanging when this was all we fucking talked about when you wanted to come back into my life. you are so fucking cruel and i am such a fucking fool
she blocked me and i think it hurts so bad that i don’t feel anything
it’s the feeling of being understood inside and out. it’s so difficult to let go of that person. i know you want to love me but i understand that you need to save yourself. i am really afraid that you will never fully come back, and i will move on but if you come back to me i will let you make a fool of me again. you know that, and i think we both know that that is the only way we could ever be together
“Getting no message is also a message.”— stuff that took me a while to understand #1 (via floals)
(via dollgrl)
hur jag kan göra så här mot mig själv igen